12w4D

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We had another good appointment today. Got to see our munchkins, they didn’t really want their pictures taken today so we don’t really have any good shots. Their heartbeats are right where they should be, they didn’t get measured today but according to my app they should be about 2 inches long. They were moving around like crazy again πŸ˜€  It’s the best thing to see. We go back to that Dr in 4 weeks and will be making an appointment with the high risk Dr for the first trimester screening. Hopefully we will get to see them again in a couple weeks. You guys will be able to share the news soon, I promise we will let you know as soon as you can. πŸ˜€

Ultrasound #3 @ 10w4d

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Today was the greatest appointment ever. The first thing we see is them jumping around and moving their arms like crazy. I thought that it was a movie that it wasn’t real, but it was really them. They are so active it’s unbelievable. We got to hear their wooshing little heartbeats 1 @173 the other @168. One measures at 10w5d and the other at 10w3d. He said that both their heartrates and measurements are in normal the normal range. We have our next appointment in 2 weeks then we will go every 4 weeks after that. We don’t need to go see the high risk Dr. yet unless we want to have the first trimester screening done where they do a blood test and an ultrasound to calculate the risk that either of them have down syndrome. Otherwise we don’t need to start seeing them until 18-22 weeks when we have the anatomy scan. They are definitely the cutest. Just a couple weeks left and you can start sharing the news. πŸ˜€ We will let you know when we’re ready. We have a few more family members we want to share with first & we need to finish our announcement project. It’s a littlemore real now that we’ve seen them for more than 2 seconds, have watched them do a jigΒ  (take after their momma), and they look even more like babies now. It’s hard to believe that they are still so small but have so many parts already.
How am I feeling?
After today a lot better emotionally. I haven’t been feeling bad just tired, hungry, have a few twinges here and there, not peeing more often, still wearing my regular jeans but with a belly band so I can have them unzipped, and every night I have the craziest dreams – random off the wall stuff. I can’t wait to see them again in two weeks and I don’t know what I’ll do when my appointments go out to every 4 weeks.

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Ultrasound #2 at 8 weeks 4 days

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I’ve been a terrible blogger lately and I apologize. The couple of weeks between ultrasounds I didn’t post anything because I was (still am) terrified that something would happen. It is a terrible way to think and I wish that was NOT my thought process at all but you can’t control it. It’s just that we have waited a long time to get where we are and I really am happy but it just seems too good to be true and something will come along and sweep away our precious munchkins. They really are the cutest, I just sit there and stare at them and can’t believe that they are living in my belly. Overall I feel pretty well, knock on wood, the nausea has pretty much gone away, pretty sleepy, hungry, and have some discomfort every once in a while ( I like to think it’s their way of telling me not to worry that they are doing well). I have my first OB appointment on the 9th with my Dr. which should then tell me what high risk Dr. he recommends that I see. Hopefully, he will give us more of the run down of what to do and what not to do and be able to see them again and hear their heartbeats :D.

First Ultrasound

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Today we had our first ultrasound, I was so nervous, I was shaking inside. When the ultrasound first started I didn’t want to look at the monitor, I chose to look at Zach instead. Until the Dr. started pointing to the screen. I don’t even remember what he was saying at first. I just remember seeing that little heartbeat and then him saying and that’s not all, there’s another one! Twins! OMG both of our little embryos have stuck around. Just seeing their little hearts beating was definitely the most amazing thing ever! Of course I cried tears of joyous relief and I know Zach was just as happy! The Dr. said that they look great and are measuring right on track. I get to knock my Estrace down from 2 tablets a day to 1 a day. Our next appointment is in 2 weeks to do another ultrasound and discuss seeing a high risk OB along with my regular OB. It’s so exciting but still pretty scary as all single pregnancy concerns increase.

Aren’t they just the cutest! πŸ˜€

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Week 6

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The last few days I have felt a little extra nauseous, especially after I eat. today seems to be a little better, I didn’t wait til I was hungry to eat, so maybe that helped.Β  I’m not really having any emotional episodes or moodiness. The past few days I actually felt pretty normal in the mood aspect, as the rest of the week I had been pretty mellow. I don’t know if that was because of hormones or because I had myself in such a worried state. Yesterday I decided that I wasn’t going to worry until there was something to worry about. and every time I think that I’m not “feeling” anything, I go through how I’m feeling now and so ok well I didn’t have this or this or this before. Then I also remind myself that every one is different. I also get kind of out of breath with some things like bending over or putting laundry in the drier or washer and sometimes I’ll feel my heart beating a little harder than usual. I am still burping up a storm, I’ve never burped so much in my life. Yesterday I had heartburn today I’ve had the hiccups and heartburn. I’m just so anxious for Monday! I have, of course, played both scenarios in my head. Things can honestly be either way, I’m sooo hoping that everything is progressing well and at the beginning of 2016 we will be bringing home a munchkin or two. πŸ™‚

Everyone has also been asking about sharing our great news with others. Currently I’m just trying to make it through Monday, see a heartbeat or 2, and at least have my first OB appointment scheduled. We really just want to share on our own terms, when we feel ready. I apologize if some don’t understand that but that’s what we want and we’re asking you to please respect that. I understand that you are all very excited and that some of you never thought that this would even be a possibility for Zach and I can only imagine what this really means for you. I’ll post some time on Monday when we are ready to share.

Week 6

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The last few days I have felt a little extra nauseous, especially after I eat. today seems to be a little better, I didn’t wait til I was hungry to eat, so maybe that helped.  I’m not really having any emotional episodes or moodiness. The past few days I actually felt pretty normal in the mood aspect, as the rest of the week I had been pretty mellow. I don’t know if that was because of hormones or because I had myself in such a worried state. Yesterday I decided that I wasn’t going to worry until there was something to worry about. and every time I think that I’m not “feeling” anything, I go through how I’m feeling now and so ok well I didn’t have this or this or this before. Then I also remind myself that every one is different. I also get kind of out of breath with some things like bending over or putting laundry in the drier or washer and sometimes I’ll feel my heart beating a little harder than usual. I am still burping up a storm, I’ve never burped so much in my life. Yesterday I had heartburn today I’ve had the hiccups and heartburn. I’m just so anxious for Monday! I have, of course, played both scenarios in my head. Things can honestly be either way, I’m sooo hoping that everything is progressing well and at the beginning of 2016 we will be bringing home a munchkin or two. πŸ™‚

Everyone has also been asking about sharing our great news with others. Currently I’m just trying to make it through Monday, see a heartbeat or 2, and at least have my first OB appointment scheduled. We really just want to share on our own terms, when we feel ready. I apologize if some don’t understand that but that’s what we want and we’re asking you to please respect that. I understand that you are all very excited and that some of you never thought that this would even be a possibility for Zach and I can only imagine what this really means for you.

5 Weeks

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Written 5/1
Today I have been super tired, I have sore, I have had quite a bit of cramping today (nothing severe but definitely noticeable ), my nausea has decreased over the last two days- I now feel very full and nauseous after I eat. I’m also vrry thirsty drinking 80 -100 oz of water/Gatorade a day, if I’m not constantly drinking I feel a little off. Just counting down the days to our first Ultrasound on 5/11. I can’t wait to see the flickering heart beat on that monitor. I’m so thankful to be where we are but I can’t help but to be worried that we might not. But what’s meant to be will be and everything will work out in the end. πŸ˜€

We’ve been keeping a secret!

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And boy has it been hard…
Written on 4/29

On Wednesday April 16th when I went to the clinic to get an ultrasound they also drew my blood for my first Beta HCG (Pregnancy Test). I was not prepared for that at all, I honestly thought that it was going to be negative. My body didn’t feel any different and negatives are what I am the most use to hearing so it is what I was expecting. So later that day I got the phone call from my nurse, she started the conversation by asking me how I was feeling, since my reason for even going in a week earlier than I was supposed to was because of pains ( I was thinking oh great she is buttering me up for the bad news).Then she said that I have a low positive of 22 (I’m thinking OMG something is better than nothing) she then continues by saying that the HCG trigger shot stays in your system for 10 days so I was out of that window. I was then instructed to of course continue my meds and then to come back the following Monday. The evening after hearing this GREAT news is when I started bleeding, so I was of course kind of freaked out but then talked myself into believing it was a good thing. They like to see your HCG almost double every 48 hours to consider it a viable pregnancy. So I was expecting (if all was well) for my numbers to be almost 200, nope. My nurse called me that evening with a Congratulations your HCG is 632, SAY WHAT!!! She said I think this is it… YAY!!! My next appointment was Wednesday 4/29 (today), the date that we would have originally had our first pregnancy test. Even though I had great numbers on Monday I was still very anxious for the results, I’m so afraid that everything is just going to stop like it did in round 3 when we had a positive. So at theΒ end of the “two week wait” they say that any HCG over 100 is a good number. My HCG today is 1462!! Hopefully this means WONDERFUL things and that these little munchkins are here to stay! I just want them to be healthy and make it full term so we can love them and make them happy and keep them safe! Last night we created signs for our dogs to wear so we can take a picture and share with our families (see below). We only plan on telling our immediate family right now but if someone asks I won’t lie! πŸ˜€ I’m so excited I wish we were able to tell them all sooner but we probably won’t be able to get to everyone until this weekend. If we invite them all over or something that might be too revealing. We probably should have planned something ahead of time and said this is when we will share what the outcome is one way or the other.

How am I feeling?

Every day seems to be a little different, on Monday I was nauseous all day, Tuesday I was starving all day, and today I’m starving and nauseous all at the same time. I do still have cramping-I hope our little ones are building something FANTASTIC in there! I am also pretty tired most of the day but not so bad to where I have taken any naps yet. I don’t really have any cravings but there are things that I think about eating which make my stomach turn, today that something is yogurt. Bleh.. I am also peeing more than usually which those of you that know me know that I was already having to go kind of often. I’m still drinking my G2 Gatorade instead of water, I plan to start just adding at least a glass of water each day though. I find myself wanting to cry a lot more, every time I read or listen to something about what is going on in Baltimore I get all teary eyed. With all that said I AM LOVING EVERY SINGLE SECOND of it! I’m so excited and hope that things keep progressing well!

I am so glad that I am blogging during this cycle. I think that it really helps to decrease some of the stress to be able to put things out there. I haven’t blogged in a while because I was afraid I would just give it up, and I found myself today, when I was anxiously waiting for results, saying to myself several times I need to blog, I need to blog. So I took a walk, got my phone call, and then I typed this up :D. Even though I won’t post this until after we can tell our parents. We want to tell them all in person, I can’t wait to see their happy tears of Joy! πŸ˜€ I know they will also be excited. I am so very thankful for all of the prayers and well wishes we have received so far through our journey, please keep them up. We have made some great strides on our journey to building our family, but it is far from over and I know just how quickly it can be taken away from us. I just want to do my best to enjoy every second of being a Mom to be! πŸ˜€
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Update

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It has been a crazy week. On Monday and Tuesday I was having pains in my ovary area. I emailed my nurse and she told me to come in Wednesday am for an ultrasound. So I went in bright and early had the ultrasound done and talked with the nurse practitioner there. They said it was too early to be able to see a sac or anything but my uterine lining is nice and thick, how they would expect it to be. They looked at my ovaries as well and there is no fluid present, they were concerned with HyperStimulation. The nurse practitioner also did an internal exam and said that the cause could be that I am full of “stool” and that it is pushing on things and making it uncomfortable. Later that morning I started having cramping and that night I started bleeding, not bright red but a light  burgundy/brown and it’s heavier than spotting but lighter than a period, this continued until about noon is Thursday. I had emailed my nurse again Thursday morning and she told me that hopefully it’s nothing and if it stops that’s a good sign. Later on Thursday evening I started having some semi severe pains, kind of seemed like bowels hitting things but not sure and I bled a little more. It seems to have lightened up at the moment, I also had those pains again this am. I’ve also woken up the last 2 mornings with severe lower back pain. I don’t know what is going on in my body right now, these are all new things for me during a 2 week wait, I’m just hoping that something good will come from it. I do go back Monday just so they can recheck things so we’ll see how that goes.

For my mental health

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I apologize in advance this post is kind of all over the place. I just wanted to put my thoughts and feelings out there in hopes that it would help them diminish some. πŸ™‚

As much as I don’t want to think about what is or isn’t happening inside my body, it has consumed my thoughts. I keep just wondering if they are still growing and attaching or if my body has taken them already. That is the worse thing about the 2 week wait is the inability to know what is going on. Through out the rest of the cycle you get reports on if they are growing or dividing or if they aren’t. Last night we watched The Hunger Games: Mocking Jay Part I and Madam President explained the 2 week wait perfectly “There’s no news. I’m sorry. It’s the worst torture in the world. Waiting, when you know there’s nothing you can do. Especially for people like us. But whatever strength, courage, madness, keeps us going, you find it, at times like these.”

Creating a life really is an amazing thing and without having to go through the IVF process I would really think about it. This comes together with that and creates this ball of cells that (if all goes well) creates a life, it really is a miracle. I like looking at our picture that they gave us, it makes my heart feel happy just to think of the possibilities. πŸ™‚

I have some minor cramping, breast tenderness, sleepiness, and I’m hungry often (nothing new for me :)) but now sometimes after I eat I feel a little nauseous; but all of those are side effects of the hormones I am on.